dear whoever decided this is The Only Correct Way to use gradle, which is sadly the only practical way to build my project on Android:

i am going to hold a grudge against you until you convince the gradle project to sanction a more reasonable way of doing this, ok? ok.

(it is taking me So much restraint to not just use the f word)

also isn't it absurd that you need a one-hundred-and-sixty-line shell script just to run a jar file, which is supposed to be portable

stole this joke idea from my gf (<3)

“oh, this is easy to fix”, i thought. “i'll simply .gitignore the files and tell people to run gradle wrapper”, i thought.

hahahaha

if i globally install gradle, gradle wrapper crashes! it only works via… the gradle wrapper! what is bootstrapping!

absolute trashfire

“okay,” i thought. “i'll simply tell the user to download and extract the zip file with the gradle wrapper, if they want that.”

h-h-haaaaah. i can't even laugh at this it makes me want to cry

one does not simply Download the gradle wrapper on its own. you must download gradle

i am at my wit's end!! i am fucking livid! i cannot believe how up their own arses they must be to expect me to copy their seventy-two fucking kilobytes of ambiguously-licensed scripts into my repo, a script for downloading gradle, which can only be obtained by downloading gradle

seventy-two fucking kilobytes of ambiguously-licensed download-and-run-gradle scripts. scripts which are, in fact, the only practical way to download and run gradle. which can only be obtained by downloading and running gradle, which is the thing i need the script for. h. hhhhhhh

is this a joke???? is this some kind of fucking prank? i'm being pranked right. are they trying to drive me fucking insane.

i…

i.

i think i'm going to turn off the computer for a while and play piano. i can't deal with this shit