also may the complete absence of license headers on these files haunt you to your grave

dear whoever decided this is The Only Correct Way to use gradle, which is sadly the only practical way to build my project on Android:

i am going to hold a grudge against you until you convince the gradle project to sanction a more reasonable way of doing this, ok? ok.

(it is taking me So much restraint to not just use the f word)

also isn't it absurd that you need a one-hundred-and-sixty-line shell script just to run a jar file, which is supposed to be portable

stole this joke idea from my gf (<3)

“oh, this is easy to fix”, i thought. “i'll simply .gitignore the files and tell people to run gradle wrapper”, i thought.

hahahaha

if i globally install gradle, gradle wrapper crashes! it only works via… the gradle wrapper! what is bootstrapping!

absolute trashfire

“okay,” i thought. “i'll simply tell the user to download and extract the zip file with the gradle wrapper, if they want that.”

h-h-haaaaah. i can't even laugh at this it makes me want to cry

one does not simply Download the gradle wrapper on its own. you must download gradle

i am at my wit's end!! i am fucking livid! i cannot believe how up their own arses they must be to expect me to copy their seventy-two fucking kilobytes of ambiguously-licensed scripts into my repo, a script for downloading gradle, which can only be obtained by downloading gradle

seventy-two fucking kilobytes of ambiguously-licensed download-and-run-gradle scripts. scripts which are, in fact, the only practical way to download and run gradle. which can only be obtained by downloading and running gradle, which is the thing i need the script for. h. hhhhhhh

is this a joke???? is this some kind of fucking prank? i'm being pranked right. are they trying to drive me fucking insane.

i…

i.

i think i'm going to turn off the computer for a while and play piano. i can't deal with this shit