oh man i miss the fog so much

someday she'll be back for me. someday the fog will be back. someday i'll be back there, in those lonely days. in the night, in the darkness, with only the lights and my solitude. i will be 17 again. and it won't be so different to being 28. it just will be

‪someday i'll be staring down the streetlights in the distance over those hills. the yellow-white and the blue-white ones in the town nobody cares for on the dead streets. someday i'll run through them again.‬

maybe someday i'll be lost in my thoughts in one of those times and, for once, i won't be alone. maybe someone else will be there. just silently, walking alongside me, knowing without words or glances. and in that moment i think i would feel loved in some very strange way

‪the fog was not normal. the fog was not everyday. the lonely night did not normally have the fog. but when it did, there's no more beautiful sight. and so i miss it‬

‪someday i'll wander into the fog and i won't wander out. i hope so. not today, not tomorrow, not in a decade. but someday‬

i look back on places i once was and i can't help but miss them. not for the people, not for the things. just the spaces. the walks i had so many times. so many lonely nights. i miss them. maybe in death they'll come back to me one day

‪i guess i know where i'll send myself if i ever completely lose it.‬

‪sometimes i bare my heart more openly in public, raw and unconcealed, than i do even on my private alt account for my closest friends. this is such a thread. and yet, you know, i don't know if anyone even knows what i mean by any of this. it's not even abstract. it's just a life‬